In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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