i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
