and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
