this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
