He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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