I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
