I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
