My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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