Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
