i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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