then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
i out mim tonsoeep
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
