Slut skills are useful in every country.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
