I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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