At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
