Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Actions speak louder than pants.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
