help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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