I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
