My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
