Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
