i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Randomize
