i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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