Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Randomize
