When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
