eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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