I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
