This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
