Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Randomize
