I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
