he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize