literally had 100 drinks last night.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
