Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize
