so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
