Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
