That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
