never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
