it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Randomize
