You're a womanizer and a bitch.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
