Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
