I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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