I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Let's get the cat blown out
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
