is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
