so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
