He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
what day is it and did you see me today?
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
