Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
he had hair everywhere except his balls
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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