we're blogging at a bar
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
