Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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