addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
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