When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Randomize
