She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
