I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
