when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Randomize
