you guys were way drunker than both of me
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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