Im at strip club and am horny
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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