Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
And the cops told us we were all naked.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
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