For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
